How to Cope with Feeling Left Out

How to Cope with Feeling Left Out

The pain of feeling rejected is stinging.  You may question your self-value and the quality of your existing relationships.  People may tell you they think positively of you, but you could find yourself unable to believe.  Nothing they could tell you would soothe your spirit.  You were rejected and feel left out.  We have compiled a guide to help you cope when you feel stuck on the fringes of your communities.

Begin you path to healing by acknowledge your feelings, emotions and thoughts.  Only when you name what you are experience can you start to dealing with feeling rejected.

It is normal to feel isolated by others.  Feeling sad, hurt and confused because you have been left out is valid.  When we sense we belong to a group we experience security and context.  It gives us a frame of reference to compare ourselves to the rest of society.

Accept the situation at face value.  When you can accept a situation, you can better assume a nonjudgmental viewpoint.  You can notice your emotions, feelings and thoughts, from an objective lens rather than be immersed in the situation.  Difficult emotions like resentment, anger, fear, sadness, and anxiety are now able to be examined without accidentally amplifying the situation.  Sit with all of your feelings.  Don’t judge them or yourself.  Don’t criticize any part of the experience.  Instead consider writing or drawing them for future review.  Remember you can only control your thoughts, actions and inner world.  The most import relationship you will ever have is with yourself.  When you can love yourself, you can let others love you.

Make an effort to connect with someone via phone, email or direct interaction. 

The desire for connection is universal.  So, it makes sense that if you are not receiving with a group it would be helpful for you to foster connection with a different group.  If one friend is not returning your phone call, reach out to a person you haven’t been able to see for a while.  This outreach will be soothing and uplifting for you both.  Feel free to discussion how you view both connection and rejection.  It can be healing to bring out limiting thoughts to the light.  If you are still struggling to identify a person to reach out to, consider finding a community online.  When you access sites like Quora or Reddit you will be able to find people that share your concerns or passions.  Even if you meet just one person, you heart will feel buoyed and you won’t feel so alone anymore.

Air your concerns.  If someone has caused you pain, find a way to have an open, nonjudgmental and honest conversation with them.  No one can know you mind except for you.  When you have this conversation misconceptions can be erased and understanding can be fostered.  You might also learn that this other person has suffered from rejection before as well and has created walls to keep others for hurting them.  Thus, this conversation could be healing from them as well.

Know yourself.  Speak first about your concerns to yourself to understand what other emotions might lying under the surface for you during periods of rejection.  When you know what is going on in your inner world, you can have more productive conversations with others.  This will show others that you care both about your feelings and that of others.  You will be able to overcome misunderstanding and create mutually beneficial solutions.  Knowing your emotions will also help to tell you if this person is too toxic to be involved in your life any further.

Be kind to yourself as you shift mindsets.  Understand what is reality and illusion that you are perceiving in your relationships.  Know that some people will never truly tell us what they are thinking.  With time, honest conversations and a bit of good luck we will be able to filter the data and create strategies to create more rewarding and inclusive relationships.