Finding Out You Are in an Affair

Finding Out You Are in an Affair

Being in relationship means that you are always trying to reach your desires and you are hopeful that things will work out for you in the future. You are confident and you know that something is good in your life. But, unfortunately, this is not the way it always is. Sometimes, things become messy and you find out that there is infidelity in the relationship. Sometimes we see this on television where someone has been in a relationship for a long time and finds out that her man has a whole other family. This kind of cheating and infidelity happens in real life and it is not easy for anyone involved.

If you have been in a relationship for a while and you are told that they are single, but you find out they really aren’t, it can leave you feeling sad and leave you feeling that there is no option other than ending the relationship. Even if you are okay with being with this person, remember that your decision affects not just you but the other person in his life.

It is selfish and wrong to stay with someone that has cheated on their spouse, even if you have fallen for them. Even if you do not know, this is wrong. You probably do not know about her and you have many things going on in your mind.

Why Men Cheat

Before you decide what to do, know that men cheat for many reasons. Some have affairs because they aren’t getting sex at home or they feel that their connection is wrong. Most men are seeking an emotional and a physical connection and it might be missing from their relationship.

Marriage is something that is supposed to be there for two people to spend their life with, just those two, but sometimes a relationship will become boring and it is natural for one to want to go and do their own thing.

When this happens, you will see that this person might have a deeper desire or needs that are not being met and this might be why they cheat.

Some men will have affairs and cheat on their wives because they don’t want to tell their wife that they are unhappy. They don’t talk about their feelings and then when they are having an affair, the get what they feel that they are missing. They do not talk about what is causing them to cheat, they just keep their spouse in the dark, so they do not have to have a conversation about it.

Being the Other Woman

If you are the other woman that the guy is cheating on, this can be heartbreaking. If you were the only woman, like you thought, this would not be so complicated but when you find out that you aren’t, this can send red flags to the things that you have missed. Maybe you realize that when their schedule changes, they are really with their wife or why they aren’t answering your calls or your texts.

Once you find out there is another person in his life, your world will change. The time that you have spent with this person will become questionably and you will wonder how you ever fell in love with them. You will feel bad and betrayed and your heart will be broken.

Turning your eyes from this will not make it go away. The other woman will find out and if you are wanting your relationship to be healthy, know that you are never going to get the commitment that you want from him when he has another person in his life.


Before you make any decisions, you need to take time to think about why he is cheating on his wife. What does it look like for you to stay with him? Do you believe he will not cheat on you and will stay with you? One thing that people do not always look at is that even though it feels like real love, love is more than just being with someone and what if he gets bored with you and cheats on you with someone else?

Now that you have thought it over, do you think that this person is going to stay with you forever? Do you see him and you going through hard times together? Do you believe he will stay with you forever? What about the sacrifices that he will have to make for you and the obstacles that he will have to overcome? Every time someone has an affair, they are building a relationship based on selfishness and not trust.

Who You Want?

When you are with someone that has another wife or girlfriend, the passion that you had might not be the same as it was before. You will realize that you are with him for different reasons and when you have really thought it through, you have to find out if you want to spend all your life with someone that will break up another home.

Besides your feelings, think outside of yourself and think about his other partner. When you think about this, you need to judge the situation out of your own feelings. Why does he want to be with you if he has another partner? Would he stay with you instead of them? If you think your partner might cheat on you, chances are building a strong relationship will not happen. If you see him with being just with you, give it time and see if it turns into a real relationship.


Do you trust him? This is the biggest question that you have to ask him. This means that you are giving your heart to him and trusting him not to hurt you. Has the idea of your relationship changed? Are you worried that he would leave you or do you wonder if he is going to leave his wife for you? Do you think there is a chance he will cheat on you in the future? With other relationships there are always questions but when you add an extra equation to the mix, it can change the way you see the future.

If you are willing to put his past aside and think that you will have a good future with him, you need to make sure you know where he stands and that he is on the same page as you are.

His Wife

The questions that you have been asking are important but what about his wife? What about the other person that has the same feelings for him that you have? Ask yourself if you are willing to hurt this person and continue your affair with him.

You might feel heartbroken and upset that you have hurt someone along the way and that their life is changing before you. If you were not the other woman, the guilt you have is going to be big. Think about how you would feel if someone that you were with was having an affair on you. It can be something that is making you feel so guilty that you are not able to keep the relationship strong.

This can go both ways. Is he going to cheat on you since he is cheating on her? What if he decides to stay with her and breaks your heart? You have to make a choice.

Staying with Him

There is no real answer to this question. You have to decide what is right for you. There are things in the relationship that make the situation sticky and you have to decide what you want in your life. There is no excuse for a guy cheating on his wife.

No one can tell you to end the affair because you didn’t know about it, but you have to make a real choice and know that there are consequences in all of your choices.

There are chances that you can meet someone else and have a better and a longer relationship with someone else. Be true to who you are and make sure that you are ready to deal with someone and their partner if you choose to stay. Be open about what you want and the situation in front of you.

Knowing that he has another woman can be hard to handle and when you find out, you will be stuck with the idea of having to make a decision on what will happen next. You deserve to be in a happy and healthy relationship, never forget that.