Are you someone that doesn’t trust yourself? Do you feel that you hide things about yourself such as your ideas or your feelings because you are afraid that you won’t fit in or that people won’t like you? Do you feel that your feelings are not important?
This means that you self-abandon yourself. When you abandon yourself, you don’t show yourself value and you don’t do things that are best for you. You might be someone that looks bad on yourself or down on yourself and you have a hard time encouraging yourself.
Here are some examples of abandoning yourself:
- Not trusting what you are feeling.
- Overthinking about things.
- Pleasing other people over yourself.
- Hiding things about you that you are afraid people won’t like.
- Trying to live a perfect life.
- Never feeling that you are good enough.
- Criticizing and judging yourself.
- Not meeting your own needs such as self-care.
- Hiding your feelings.
- Not following your values or beliefs.
- Being in codependent relationships.
- Neglecting yourself.
- Not speaking positively to yourself.
- Not having boundaries.
Why Do We Abandon Ourselves?
We often abandon ourselves even as young as being a child. We do this because our parents or caregivers didn’t meet our physical and emotional needs. They might have abandoned you or made you feel that you were unlovable.
When we get to be adults, we keep these feelings, and we repeat these things with our partners and people who hurt us. We let them take advantage of us and we allow this.
We learn to self-abandon ourselves because it is a way that we cope with things that are hard. We had a hard time getting our needs met as children and then when we are adults, we become tuned to things such as abusive behavior or chaos. We hide our feelings, and we do what we can to not let people hurt us or cause us pain.
We hide our feelings and our needs, and we let our worth be based around how good we do or what we accomplish.
Self-abandonment is something that is destructive and can lead you to a life of depression and low self-esteem. This kind of situation will cause you to have bad relationships and will cause you to become numb to others.
Stop Abandoning Yourself
You have to learn to value yourself and to love yourself no matter what. You have to learn to be able to trust yourself and to be able to be happy and to meet your own needs. You have to have a strong relationship with yourself so that you can have other relationships.
When you learn to love yourself, you will need to start being there for yourself. You have to know that you have flaws and that you make mistakes, but this doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy.
You have to start loving yourself and learn to meet your own needs.
Have Feelings and See Your Needs
Everyone has needs and feelings. You might not have expressed what you felt growing up but now that you are an adult, you can learn to feel safe and that you can be free to stay what you want and what you need. Stop listening to other people and allowing them to tell you what you are allowed to feel and need.
Start identifying your own feelings and you can even journal these and figure out what you need to do.
Let your feelings be present and instead of hiding them, learn to embrace them. Meditating is one thing that you can do to learn to accept yourself and to have more energy. This can help you to stay calm and to embrace whatever is going on in your life.
Be True
Do not hide yourself and be true to who you are. Do not worry about people judging you or putting you down. Do not do things that make others happy but be who you are. Be creative and learn to follow what you are passionate about and what you love. Commit yourself to what you want to do in your life.
Be Compassionate
People deserve to be cared for and when they are struggling, they need to have love and care. Learn to have compassion for yourself even when things are hard. Comfort yourself when you fail and realize you cannot be perfect.
Most people were not taught about being compassionate with themselves and if you had parents that weren’t compassionate to you, you might not understand it.
Here are ways to be compassionate with yourself:
- Know when you are struggling by the pains in your body and let yourself have feelings.
- Know that everyone suffers and makes mistakes.
- Be aware of your feelings and negativity that creeps in.
Figure out what kind of things that you can do to be compassionate with yourself and to show yourself love.
Stand Up for Who You Are
Learn to stand up for yourself and to be assertive when you need to. This can be scary aft first but if you do this, you will see that you are not letting everyone walk all over you.
Everyone has needs and wants and they deserve to see these through instead of being disrespected. You are worthy of happiness.
Show up for yourself and listen to whatever your body and mind is telling you. Care about yourself and do what you need to make sure you are taken care of. Do what is right for you even if other people don’t like it. Set boundaries with your feelings and don’t live on feelings of guilt. Value who you are and learn to really love yourself.
