Sometimes people will hurt you, this is part of life. This can happen on purpose or by accident and it can be something that you really have a hard time getting over. You may never feel that you are able to fix things with the person that hurt you, but you have to learn to forgive in order to be the better person.
There are things that you can do to work towards forgiving others so that you can live your best life.
Forgiving Others
Forgiveness is something that we often do not want to think about when someone hurts us. When someone does something that causes you pain, it can make you have emotions that are strong. When it first happens, you don’t have to do anything immediately, but you have to forgive so that you are not carrying a forever burden in your life. This burden will hold you back and forgiveness is for you just as much as them.
Forgiveness is not about letting someone get away with what they did or excusing them, and it doesn’t mean that your feelings will just out of nowhere vanish, but forgiveness is about finding a way to resolve the problem for you. More than likely they wish that you could forgive them, but you have to always put yourself first because you were the one hurt.
Forgiveness allows you to finish the hurt that you got. You will still be able to remember what they did to you, but you will no longer be held a prisoner to it. Once you work through the feelings that you have, you will know what kind of boundaries that you need in order to make sure that you are safe in the future.
Remember that forgiveness takes time, and you will not feel like forgiving someone right away. Even if you don’t feel like it though, you need to work towards forgiveness.
Knowing How You Feel
Take time to look at your emotions and what you are feeling. You were wronged and you were hurt, and you need to give yourself time to heal. This takes time. Take time and space from what happened to you and focus on what is going on now. If your wounds do not heal right away it doesn’t mean you are not working towards that.
Take time to embrace your feelings. If you want to be mad and scream or punch your pillow, do it. If you want to cry and to be upset or sad, do it. Let your emotions out and do not hide them. You have to give yourself time to find forgiveness.
Once you have worked out your feelings, you need to figure out why you were so hurt in the situation. Whatever you are feeling, name it and give it a name so you know what you are forgiving them for. Do not try to find out why they hurt you just that they did and what they did to hurt you.
Understanding why someone hurt you can help you but sometimes when you want to know why it takes longer to forgive.
You may never really know the reason that the person hurt you, but you do know that you can make your life better by moving forward.
Focus on what you are hurt over and then you can learn to let it go. Always take as much time that you need to forgive someone, and you are the one in control of when that happens.
Look at Things from Their Perspective
It might be easier to understand what they did if you look at things from their perspective. Do not blame yourself for what they did to you or try to make up excuses for them but take time to empathize with them. This can help you to see the situation differently and see that everyone has flaws.
Imagine how you would feel if you have done the same thing to someone else, especially if you didn’t mean to. Imagine how much it would mean to you to be forgiven.
People that hurt others often have strong feelings from it and they are sad about it unless they are a sociopath. The remorse is going to be there and sometimes people will carry this with them. The decisions that they made were most likely insensitive and selfish but understanding them can make it easier to forgive.
You have also made mistakes and treated people poorly at one time or another. You have done things to make up for that and you will do what it takes to help someone that you have hurt to heal. Imagine hurting someone the way that you are hurting and how that would make you feel.
Forgiveness should be there for you and for them and empathy can help you to forgive faster.
Write it Down
Take a moment to write down what you are feeling. Write down all of the feelings that you are having. This is a great way to see how your feelings are there and how forgiveness can come to you.
Take out your paper and a pen and write whatever you want to write. If you want to write a letter, you can do that and you can keep it. Be patient and let yourself keep the letter until you can move on. Write down that you forgive the person that hurt you and even if you don’t have to send the letter to anyone, you can have it for yourself to read over and over.
Express your feelings on paper and you can see that you can say anything and everything that you want to say.
Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Being Friends
Just because you forgive someone it doesn’t mean that you are going to be friends with them. You have to remember that the person that hurt you probably did a lot of great things for you before they hurt you. Becoming friends again requires you both to have mutual respect for each other.
It requires working together but forgiving is going to be up to you only. Even though you may never be close to that person again, you can forgive them without continuing the relationship. They do not have to be a part of your life. You can choose to fix things but that is only if it is going to be good for you.
More than likely you have lost respect for this person, and it is up to you to decide what is next.
Focus on the Now
Once you decide to forgive someone, you have to move forward. You have to let your mind see what is happening in front of you and stop going to the past. You have to not let that part of the situation to come back up to you.
Focus on what you are doing in your life and focus on the people that you love. Even though people will wrong you, do things that make you happy now. Find yourself a new hobby and live in the present.
Forgiving someone in your life is going to be the best thing that you can do. It is something that is never going to be easy, and it can take a long time for it to happen, but it will be something that you are thankful for later. Let out your emotions, get rid of baggage, give yourself time to heal and move forward in your journey. You will find peace and happiness again.
