Do you have estranged family? If you do, you are not alone. There are millions of people that have cut ties with their family. This is not an instant thing that happens, but it happens after a lot of different events in your life.
Some people will let go of their past and want to reconnect with these people and if you want to fix your relationship with your family, here are some things you can do:
Emotional Scars
You will never be able to love someone else if you cannot love who you are. You have to learn to take care of yourself in your body and your mind. We all make mistakes and we have to learn to forgive ourselves and to let go of the pain and suffering that we have in our past.
If you are not able to do this, you will never become the best you can be. Do not judge yourself and learn to recognize when you need to forgive yourself and heal. When you do this, you are the step of reconnecting with your estranged family.
Communication
Communication is important in all relationships. This is important when you are in friendships, romantic relationships and in family relationships. Learn to communicate in a way that allows you to talk and listen. If you do not know what they are saying, ask them to tell you again.
Pay attention to nonverbal and verbal cues. If someone crosses their arms or won’t look at you, they may not be being honest with you.
Needs
Figure out what you want and need in your relationship. Relationships go two ways. You have to give and take in order to make them work.
Relationships require people to be honest and to trust each other. If you are angry or hurt, learn to understand that you need to forgive them. There has to be a middle place where you can learn to agree.
Boundaries
Put up boundaries in all relationships. You can do this by talking and being honest with each other. You might be angry because someone lied to you. The boundaries need to be that everyone has to be honest.
Be realistic in what you expect out of them. You want to have compromise and to learn to figure out a way to agree with each other. Do not get defensive when they are talking to you.
Slow
Reconnecting does not happen immediately, and you need to slow down. Start by just texting each other and set a space of trust. Only after you grow the trust, then learn to talk to each other.
Do not spend all day when you first meet up. Learn to take time to connect over lunch or over a coffee break. Let the relationship get comfortable.
Territory
When you first start handing out learn to have neutral areas to meet. Bring drinks or snacks and pick a place where you are equal.
You can go to a restaurant or the mall or the park. Meet up in these places and learn to bond in a place where you can talk.
Spiritual Healing
Family members that have a hard time getting along might need to renew their spirituality. Do this by going for a walk in the woods or by meditating. Doing these things will help your body, mind, and your relationship.
You can go to yoga and meditate as a family. Figure out what dreams and goals you have for meeting back up.
Family Reunion
No way is easier to reconnect than having a family reunion. This will give you and your family a place to eat and bond. Learn to bond over food and fun.
Make a guest list and send out what everyone needs to bring. Have everyone RSVP and give them a list of foods or dishes that they can make.
Mediator
Call a mediator if you feel that you cannot talk to your estranged family. Things might be awkward at first but once you have a third party, they can help you discuss what is wrong and reconnect.
A mediator can be a counselor and can help in a professional setting, if needed. Learn to have a conversation with them that is healthy.
Common Bond
Finding something that you have in common with your estranged family is important. Find something to do that you like to do together such as dinner or bowling.
Talk about things in your life that have been hard and learn to bond over conversation. You can talk about anything.
Effort
It might be hard to reconnect with someone in your family if it has been a long time since you have talked to them. Take time to rekindle the relationship and fix that connection that you are missing.
